warmorgorgeous
OH MAN I HATE A GAP ! Contemplated duct-taping thermal vest to knickers. Realised that impracticality would render peeing impossible, or very messy. Compromised by tucking thermal vest, two t-shirts & jumper into jeans. Couldn't fasten jeans. Put on bigger jeans. Wanted to duct-tape bottom cuffs of jeans to ankles, then thought of ripping it off later . . .
Decided I could fix this by wearing Scottish kilt socks over jeans. Was touch and go getting them on as they seem to be made of woolly barbed-wire. Added racy 80's leg warmers and tucked everything into my gorgeous working boots.
Put on ski scarf (ooooooooooooohhhhhhhh) that fits over my head and snuggles down round my neck and face. Cant describe how much I LOOOOVE this scarf. Every time I put it on I make that deep oooooooohhhhhh noise normally only used during . . . er. . . romantic moments.
Me and Max, the timid Jack Russel, hard at work
Added red fleece. Added brown quilted coat. Couldn't fasten coat. Swapped it for huge green hunting coat. Only just fastened.
Now measure 76,96,76 and seem to have lost waist.
Added new woolly hat, white with two huge pink flowers sewn on. Fastened pompom ties under chin. Hat appears to have been been made to fit someone with head the size of a bucket and will probably make talking and breathing difficult. I look like a hippy alien.
Tibetan finger-less gloves, knitted out of llama poo, started to come unraveled.
Couldn't lift leg high enough to get into van. Took a run at it. Didn't hurt elbow too badly.
Discovered ankles didn't bend anymore. Thought about driving standing up, as bending from waist was also nigh-on impossible. In the end, just loosened bootlaces so I could operate the clutch.
Thumbs now blue, as Tibetans have REALLY REALLY REALLY small hands. Unravelingness was cause of slightly erratic driving as llama-poo wool wrapped itself around gear stick.Drove to market with all windows open as too hot.